It’s been a while. I haven’t even checked the last time I typed something here.
I’ve been busy. I’ve also struggled internally over the past year. Things happened last year that I didn’t think would ever be a thing in my family. Not that side of the family, anyway. I’m still coping with that.
My goals this year are simple. Write a little more, read a little more, finish a couple of the large cross-stitch projects I’ve been working on for the past couple of years, get some of my stuff organized, enjoy life outside of work a little bit more, and hold tight to the family members who still talk to me.
An update on things:
My grandmother’s dementia continues its horrible advance. She now has trouble speaking simple sentences. She forgets a word and either replaces it with another or just makes unintelligible sounds before giving up. It’s painful to see. Grandpa has again insisted he will not try to force her to leave their home. He told Dad it took him three hours to get Grandma ready and out the door this past Thanksgiving. She has horrible anxiety outside their home and becomes increasingly agitated the longer she’s not there.
Mom is estranged from her sisters due to a dispute last year over my grandfather’s mental health. One of my aunts insists their parents should be in a nursing home. Grandpa has made it clear that he wishes to stay in his home for as long as possible. Things came to a head last March when my aunt tried to do things her way and Mom had to put her foot down and say, “No.” What my aunt proposed would’ve resulted in a huge breach of trust, which would’ve made things much more difficult in terms of supporting Grandpa. I’m not sure what she told her husband, my cousins, and my other aunt and uncle in Oregon, but all have distanced themselves and/or refused to speak with us since. I never thought this would happen with Mom’s family. I’m in new territory the longer this continues. I don’t know whether to wait it out or plead for reconciliation. I did ask my uncle and one cousin why I was unfriended and could we please discuss things. I was ignored by my uncle and promptly blocked by my cousin. My other aunt messaged Mom just before the election to tell her she’d be in town visiting and would like to see her but didn’t know where they stood. She seemed to forget what happened several months earlier. It’s frustrating.
I am still working as a security officer in Seattle. The protests yesterday did not affect me, thankfully, though my co-worker and I saw two drunk pedestrians get into an altercation with a taxi driver early this morning. I couldn’t help but wonder if the pedestrians had been coming from the protests, which turned violent at the University of Washington. I do not mind people protesting, but I can’t stand it when a small faction of the protestors, or when a group of outsiders determined to cause problems, decide to take things further. It just turns people away and the message reaches no one, which only increases the anger and frustration.
Speaking of work, I need to start getting ready, so ta ta for now.